Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
