i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize