well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize