I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize