I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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