so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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