Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I love you.
Bad choice
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
