I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
