"it" just moved
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
