girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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