You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
