I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
