At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
