I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
