My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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