Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
