He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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