I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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