Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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