hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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