if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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