You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
