The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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