I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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