1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
