Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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