I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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