Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All the doctor said was why
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
