I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
