if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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