Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
