part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
