yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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