Someone shit on the floor
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
