i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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