You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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