Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
