i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
