My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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