Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
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It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from