does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
