I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
