Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am http://tfl.nu/cj17

Replies (24) Good night (4016) Bad night (546)
Favorite
(909): View more from California

I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(909): I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars. http://tfl.nu/cj0n

Replies (39) Good night (776) Bad night (6406)
Favorite
(416): View more from Ontario

Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard. http://tfl.nu/iuc0

Replies (20) Good night (4729) Bad night (669)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major http://tfl.nu/y5g5

Replies (18) Good night (1286) Bad night (5329)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!? http://tfl.nu/ozc5

Replies (31) Good night (9556) Bad night (1039)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator. http://tfl.nu/tdtw

Replies (18) Good night (4639) Bad night (1297)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer http://tfl.nu/w7yv

Replies (8) Good night (2167) Bad night (854)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings. http://tfl.nu/8q1l

Replies (9) Good night (4226) Bad night (729)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating? http://tfl.nu/ubob

Replies (6) Good night (1503) Bad night (1020)
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth. http://tfl.nu/rtd2

Replies (12) Good night (1057) Bad night (2189)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon http://tfl.nu/8tqm

Replies (3) Good night (670) Bad night (566)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1zuj

Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (720)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta http://tfl.nu/t0pt

Replies (13) Good night (1536) Bad night (997)
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know. http://tfl.nu/o6il

Replies (2) Good night (1448) Bad night (441)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/yrgk

Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (393)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: