THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
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I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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