Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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