That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
