I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
