Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize