Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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