very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
