dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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