There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
