I'm lost and stupid without you.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
