Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
