WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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