Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
