that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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