My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
