OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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