Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
