It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I cut my penus on the lid.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
